My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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