We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
