was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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