I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
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