When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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