What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
