so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
