So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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