The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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