I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize