i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
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as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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