Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
