Will you blow on my dice?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
