she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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