need another drink. this is the easiest way
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
