sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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