So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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