Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
