Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
