I think im going to throw up on grandma
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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