Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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