FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
