I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
