So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize