sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
