I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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