I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
