he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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