Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
