i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize