Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
