And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize