I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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