I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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