Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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