eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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