can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
