Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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