Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
