It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
And then he peed in my hair
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