But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
