the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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