As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
