are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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