You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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