did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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