yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
