im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
