I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
