if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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