u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish life had little blips of pornography
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and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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