Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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