; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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