; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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