Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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