You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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