I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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